How can I feel less observed?

I�ve been strange for all my life, pretty much, though I haven�t noticed or realized at first. I am a flashy person, slightly above 5�11, around 135 lbs with voluminous red hair..I could be happy about who I am, considering my life appears quite fab at first sight, if only it wasnt for the people staring and gossiping. I�ve been bullied as a child and this adds to the fear that people may judge me in unfortunate ways. I quarrel with the fact that my got larger out of a sudden (I�m 19) and that men show interest (I�d prefer to go back to the days of innocence) and indeed, I have developed an eating disorder for I feel uncomfortably large at any size, which is due to my height. I�ve been quite a bit thinner than this a while ago and I got back, but even before that, it wasnt enough. I feel like disappearing. Is there any way apart from therapy to deal with this?